His Private Little Joke
by long lost island
Summary: Weyoun helps a very inebriated Kira back to her quarters. Her behavior gives him an idea for some fun. Please review!
1. Chapter 1

This story is a one shot. Had a strange thought and started to type it out. Hope you enjoy a Weyoun/Kira story. I own nothing of the Star Trek world. Please review! If I get five off this chapter I'll continue to write more. If not enjoy anyway.

….

Kira usually never drank so much but she needed to escape for a while. Things were going south with plans for sabotaging the work to take down the mine field. Everything was going wrong and Dukat was driving her crazy with his endless harassment.

Quark tried to cut her off but was threatened with bodily harm if he tried it again. This lasted until closing time and he politely asked her to leave. She refused to leave without another drink and started to get argumentative. He wasn't angry with her because he knew she was only trying to cope with things.

He looked at the entrance and saw Weyoun watching the scene with interest. He walked in to see what the problem was.

"Is there a problem here?"

Quark wasn't sure what to say. "She had too much to drink that's all. I'll help her to her quarters."

"No…Quirk…I get homishiff." She lost her balance but recovered.

Weyoun was glad he was given the gift to control his emotions or he would have laughed at her. "Major?" He spoke in a very soft voice. "I'll take you to your quarters. I'll even have Quark send some wine for you to drink there. It will be my gift to you for all your hard work." He held out his hand for her to take.

All she could do was nod and she fell towards him. Vorta were graceful by nature and he held her with little problem. It wasn't long before they reached her quarters and entered. He placed her on the couch and made to leave but a hand grabbed his wrist and wouldn't let go.

"Don't go…I need you." She almost pulled him down but was stronger than he looked.

"No you need to sleep." He tried to detangle himself from her but found that Kira was not as inebriated as she looked.

Kira stood up and began to pull at his clothing, growing more and more frustrated when he tried to get her hands from his outer shirt.

"Major that's quite enough! I'm leaving now." He pushed her to the couch but she tripped him and in the process and he landed on top of her.

"That's more like it." She wrapped her legs around him pinning him to her.

Her hands were caught and he pinned them above her head. That action only caused her to moan as she moved against him hoping to get some reaction from him.

He could very well give her what she wanted but didn't want an irate Major the next day. Though he could use it against Dukat for weeks if he found out.

"Major…"

"Nyres, call me Nyres."

"Nyres, are you sure about this? Once I start I will not stop. You'll remember in the morning."

She moved against him once again as her answer.

"Very well." He moved his hands to the side of her head and focused. This took a lot of concentration and really had to want to do this. He released a chemical through his hands that went into her skin. Within minutes she was fast asleep. It was not a common talent amongst Vorta as there was usually never any use in trying to put someone you are talking with to sleep.

He got up and wondered what he was going to do. Then a smile came to his face and went to the bedroom. He moved the sheets as if she had a wild tumble in them and tossed a pillow across the room. Next he lifted her sleeping form onto the bed and undressed her throwing her clothing randomly across the room leaving her tunic and top in the living room.

She positioned her in the covers on her stomach and smiled. Now he had to leave an item of clothing here to make her believe that he was here. He half undressed and left his underwear tossing it on her prayer mandella in her room.

He left the room with a smile on his face knowing how awkward she was going to be around him. She was so inebriated that she wouldn't remember any details and if Dukat found out about it then that will be all the more entertaining.

…

The next morning was hell as Kira walked into OPS. Her head was pounding and everything seemed so loud. Oh, how much did she drink? She woke up naked and the bed looked as if she had a rather wild time with someone. But who? All she saw was a pair of underwear hanging from her prayer mandella.

She was called into a meeting shortly after that, that went on for hours. At the end Weyoun pulled her aside in private. "Major you look horrible this morning. Perhaps you should take the day off. I am sure that someone else can cover your duties for the day."

"Thank you but I'll manage Weyoun."

He gave a small laugh. "Very well, oh another thing Major." He looked a little embarrassed and spoke softly. "You could dispose of my item of clothing I left in your quarters in any manner you see fit. I am sorry I left in such a hurry in the morning….I had duties."

Kira turned white. "Oh, yes. I'll do that. Excuse me."

It took all of his control not to laugh out loud before she left the room and the door closed behind her. He truly enjoyed his private little joke.

…


	2. Chapter 2

Well I am going to continue this story. I did say that if I received at least 5 reviews I would continue. So here I am with chapter two. I own nothing of the Star Trek world. Please review!

…

Weyoun smiled as he watched Kira leave with a paler face. Though she didn't say it she was mortified at the thought of being intimate with him. It was an interesting contrast to her wonton proposal last night. Perhaps he would tell her the truth tonight. It wouldn't do to have this alter their working relationship. She was just starting to speak to him in a more relaxed manner. And if were to be honest with himself he wanted someone to be more relaxed around with him. It was a lonely existence always being treated so formally.

Though, the idea of Dukat finding out would be rather humorous to say the least. The Cardassian has been chasing Major Kira for a few years now and their proximity has only intensified his desire for her. Odo's reaction would be the problem, as Weyoun was well aware that Kira and Odo held strong feelings for one another. Getting in the way of that would not do much to warm the reluctant Founder towards him.

After some thought he made a decision and made planned as best he could given the feelings Major Kira felt towards him.

…..

After her shift was over Kira entered in her quarters almost sick with guilt over sleeping with Weyoun. His underwear was still lying on the floor where she dropped them after taking it off her prayer mandella for closer inspection. The very sight of them only made the pit in her stomach heavier and she honestly didn't have the nerve right now to touch them. It was juvenile but that's how she felt right now.

At least Weyoun was subtle about it and kept things to himself, telling her discreetly as possible. She doubted he wanted anyone else to know like herself.

The thought of taking Weyoun to her bed made her mind reel again. How drunk was she and why did he take advantage of her? She was sure that the Vorta hold no interest in women that way and would have left her in her quarters.

An hour later she heard the chime for her quarters and let the person in. Weyoun stepped in and greeted her with an apologetic smile. "Sorry for intruding upon your evening Major I came to explain a few things about last night."

"Look I didn't mean to sound and look so…horrified." She was embarrassed by her reaction. She was too old to act in such a manner.

"Ah, yes well it is rather understandable you feel that way about me. You don't have feelings for me and I know your feelings towards the Dominion and those that work for it." He stepped a little closer to her.

Kira spoke before he could continue. "Weyoun please I honestly don't hate you and trust me if I wanted you while drunk I must be attracted to you in some manner. You caught me by surprise today is all."

He knew she was telling the truth and wondered if his idea of telling her the truth would be such a good idea. Right now he seemed to have some sort of leverage over her. "You took me by surprise last night. And if I may be so bold what is it what you find attractive about me?"

"I'm sorry?" Her stomach balled up.

"You said that you must have found something attractive about me? I am curious as to what that is."

Kira knew exactly what it was and the embarrassment was written all over her face. "It's rather embarrassing Weyoun and I'd rather not talk about it."

"I'm very sorry Major I simply wanted to know as it's unusual to hear my name used in a sentence with something considered positive. I'll leave you to your evening." He turned to go but Kira stopped him.

"Wait, Weyoun I suppose that's a fair question." She wondered if revealing this information was wise but she felt that Weyoun would always have that question in his eyes whenever they worked together. "It's your ears mostly."

"My ears? Oh, I've heard that before. Most female species find them attractive. There really isn't anything to be embarrassed about in that."

She breathed out and closed her eyes. They opened slowly to have a curious Weyoun looking into them. "I and other women on the station are curious to know if another area of your body is ribbed like your ears." She turned red but controlled her embarrassment as much as possible.

Weyoun understood the meaning instantly. His eyes narrowed and a smile crept on his face. "Is that all?"

"Yes."

He knew he was being rather cruel now but was enjoying her embarrassment too much not to push further. This was the most vulnerable he had ever seen her before. "And what have you found out?"

She held the bridge of her nose when she spoke. "I don't remember anything from last night to be honest."

Now he had to be very careful here. There was a line that must not be crossed. "Well if you ever have the curiosity I'll be more than happy to oblige you with that information. Keeping secrets from a potential ally as Bajor would not be very diplomatic now would it?"

She stopped for a moment taking in the joke that he told her to lighten a rather awkward moment. "If I am ever curious about Dominion assets I'll make sure to speak with you."

Weyoun laughed despite himself. "I'll leave you to your evening Major."

…


	3. Chapter 3

Never thought I would get back to this story but I need to finish it as I never intended for this to be a long story. This is the final chapter of this story. And yes there is a little out-of-characterness going on in this chapter. As you all know, I own nothing of the Star Trek world. Please read and review.

…..

As he walked away from Kira's quarters Weyoun began to realize that Kira was serious about her curiosity. He couldn't help but smile at the thought that another person found him attractive in some way. Not just some person but a person that Odo, one of his Gods, loved. This strange and lightly awkward event seemed to put them at a more comfortable level. Some of the formalities were no longer there.

He played with the idea of letting Dukat know somehow but he decided against that. If Dukat found out then surely Odo would and Weyoun would not be able to handle Odo's disappointment if not anger.

Weyoun entered his quarters and the thought of Kira never left his head. Thoughts of her touching his skin and moaning beneath him thrilled him to no end. The fact that a woman that caught the attention of a God was curious about him was what made her so attractive. There must be something special about her.

There was no way he could sleep now and asked the computer for the time. Kira should still be awake.

He didn't hesitate and made his way to her quarters. She opened the door and was rather surprised to find Weyoun standing there.

"Weyoun? What is it?"

"Please excuse me Major. I need to speak to you about something. If that's alright with you."

Kira felt awkward with him standing at the door. "Alright, come on in."

Weyoun stepped inside. "I once again apologize for the intrusion so late at night."

"Don't worry about it. What is it you want to tell me?"

He sighed. "You see Major I'm curious as to why you find my _ears_ so interesting."

Kira blushed and realized that Weyoun wasn't fully satisfied with the ending of their earlier conversation. "That's a rather personal matter Weyoun."

"I know." He stepped up to her. "But I think we passed the point of not being personal."

It was then Kira realized that he was attracted to her. "What is it that you find attractive about me? I can tell you are."

"As you said that's a rather personal matter."

She nodded her head. "Fair enough. Well then why don't I tell you my reason and you'll tell me yours."

"That seems fair Major."

Kira sat down and motioned for him to do the same. He sat a few feet away from her on the sofa. "Alright, well the reason for my curiosity about if a certain other part is ribbed like your ears has to do with pleasure." She had a hard time explaining this as sex wasn't something Bajorans talked about so openly. It's the largest difference between Cardassians and Bajorans. "You see if you're ribbed in that _area_ then it brings more pleasure for most women during intimacy. OK your turn."

Weyoun had never seen the Major so vulnerable before. It was quite the contrast compared to her usual demeanor that was a lot stonier than this. "Really? That is rather fascinating. I never realized. Ah yes my reason." He turned to her on the sofa. "You see Major you caught Odo's attention. I know he and you do not see him as a God but I do. The fact that he finds you attractive means there is something worthy about you. That demands my respect."

She was taken aback for a moment. "So you're attracted to me because Odo is attracted to me?"

"In a matter of speaking." He inched towards her very slowly. "I can tell that you are curious about that aspect of me. I'd love for you to have that curiosity satisfied." He desired her now. It was strange that he did as only a few hours ago he would never have entertained the thought of being this close to her. The realization that she may be attracted to him was authorization enough to explore what a God found attractive.

Before she could react he held her in a passionate kiss. Though Vorta don't take partners they are given enough knowledge to use if required for intimate situations.

Kira struggled for a moment out of surprise but found it shocking that he was so tender and yet so passionate with the kiss. His hands went behind her and held her body with the most arousing combination of tenderness and possession.

He pulled away from the kiss and whispered in her ear. "Let me worship through you. Allow yourself to feel what it is to be worshiped by a Vorta."

Once again before she could utter another word his hands covered her body through her clothes as her lips were captured by his.

Kira tried to bring her attention to one place at a time but felt him all over her body then before she knew it she felt his leg press between her legs. She moaned in his mouth and he slowly moved his lips from her mouth to the side of her neck.

Before she knew it her top was on the floor and she had no memory of him removing it as her attention was never kept in one area for very long. The guilt she felt was washed away as her body felt whole and connected. Never had any of her previous partners made her feel this way.

Her pants fell to the floor with her top and once again she had no memory of them being removed. Her underwear soon followed.

For this moment Weyoun was not this power driving creature without a soul. There was a passion to him that she never thought possible.

Weyoun was touching something a God adored and his only concern was giving Kira the most that he could ever offer her. In his mind he was worshiping Odo through her. He had to please her, make her happy. He entered her with all the care and attention of worship.

Kira could no longer focus on anyone thing and all of a sudden felt herself filled and she looked into Weyoun's eyes. He was purely focused on her and observed what she enjoyed most in his movements and accommodated accordingly.

Never had anyone before paid that much attention to her before.

The buildup was very intense and slow to almost a painful point. Nothing mattered to her at that moment and she was suddenly overcome with spasms of pleasure that seemed to fill her entire body. Her mind was spinning from it.

She closed her eyes and she felt herself being lifted up but wasn't sure. When she opened her eyes she was on her bed with Weyoun sitting next to her.

"That is the passion Vorta feel for their Gods. What you felt is how I feel for Odo and desire nothing more than to make him happy."

Weyoun looked very sad just then and Kira felt sorry for him in that moment. She reached up and touched traced a finger along one of his ears. "Odo doesn't hate you Weyoun. Please understand he finds your devotion embarrassing. He's never been revered before and he's not sure how to take it as he's devoted his life to service not leadership."

Those words took some of the sting out of Odo's cold dismissal of him. "Thank you Major, you have no idea how much those words mean to me."

"Kira, when in private please call me Kira."

"Kira, it is then. I'm sorry you never got to have your curiosity fulfilled."

She looked up at him. "It doesn't matter to me now. I'm fulfilled in a different way."

Weyoun looked down at her in surprise and found that her hand was now caressing his ear.

"Weyoun care to worship your God's though me again?"

He smiled and began to worship once again through a very grateful Kira. Never had he thought a joke would lead to such entertainment.

…

…..

Yes, I know that was such a corny ending but this story was a little fluffy anyway.


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